SO MUCH MONKEY BUSINESS

I still can’t get over the multi-layered story out of Sydney where a male baboon, with his two wives in tow, escaped Royal Prince Alfred Hospital before he could undergo a vasectomy.

I briefly touched on what I believed some of these processes could have involved in GM EP today.

One example would be the process of marriage. Instead of singing traditional church hymns, they could just break into a rendition of another song:

Of course, on the back of our Bridezilla stories earlier this week, what exactly would the bride wear? I assume, being baboons, hubby would be asked “Does this dress make my butt look small?” before he sweated and tried to deflect from the question by commenting on how hunched her back looked.

On the topic of weddings, what are the rules of weddings in the baboon world? Is there a rule of the greetings being limited only to the most stupid faces you can pull?

And after the ceremony, instead of throwing rice, what do they throw on the married couple? You know what, never mind…

Of course, I also come back to the fact he has two wives. I mean, that’s a pretty heavy punishment on the poor guy as it is without the snip coming too.

No, not the two wives, but the two sets of in-laws…

Then there’s the question of the big snip. Is there a limit to how many kids you’re allowed in the animal kingdom? Having none myself, I wonder whether our hairy friend can compete with a certain tortoise whose idea of Netflix and Chill is no Netflix and all chill.

Did I miss anything here? What other questions do you have about this whole situation which seems too strange for the universe?